Thursday, 7 May 2009

Time to relax and try and find the way forward.

Two weeks of living my own life as best as I can.  
A holiday!  
I must shut out the pressures of work and use this time to find where I am out of alignment with my path.
 Later today when I have released some of my anxiety and fear I will journey and meet some old friends.  I need to listen carefully and hopefully learn something of the bizarre dreams I had last night.  
Who was the crazy man in the bar with the hand-written jotter, with whom, despite my initial fear of him and his strangeness, I was trying to communicate?  He had illustrated the book himself, quite well too, which surprised me.  I had difficulty reading his small neat script, written in blue biro.  Externally the bar looked rough, on the inside the beer and food were of excellent quality, the barman friendly and proud of his establishment and it's unique clientele.  So weird, but I felt at home there.
The other dream, equally vivid, ended in a stand-off with a very tall consultant (medical). I had been deceived into seeing this person who was deranged.  I escaped by brandishing an axe, which he had brought with him!  So vivid, so frightening too if I am to be honest.
Both dreams were in enhanced colour, the vividness seemed out of proportion to how they would appear in reality unless freshly painted and well illuminated.
Do dreams mean anything?   Do we just create imagery that tries to make sense of the flood of emotion and sensation coursing through us as we sleep?  I don't know.
 We all choose our beliefs or have them culturally conditioned, there bye  shaping our world view.  Hence the diversity in all of us, and long may that continue.  There are too many round pegs being battered into square holes.  
Let's all accept each other and cherish our differences, realising it is how we differ that ultimately creates the kaleidoscopic beauty of the world.


I need to see a future,
cleansed of this suffering.
I long for a freedom
from pain, worry and fear.

I wish to be whole,
in mind, body and spirit.
Enjoying each moment
the instant it appears.

Appreciating the beauty
that exists all around me,
not squinting through filters
of anxiety and tears.