Sunday, 29 March 2009

In the wood, well there used to be trees!

Out for a walk in weather more appropriate for March; back to snow after last weeks "summer" weather.

Went to a forest I used to visit many years ago; a dark intimate place full of spirit. Now the hillside is mostly bare on one side of the glen and is cut by large forest roads made for building the wind farm on the summit of the hills.
The place seems to have shrunk, the difficult routes following the small burns through dense trees now seem inconsequential when the eye can traverse the previously hidden places in an instant.

I walked up to the wind farm, bizarre roaring as the wind drove the turbines, a buzzard gliding down into the trees on the far side. An imminent snow squall approaching with spindrift rising. Time to leave for the lower ground; took a short detour to descend through a small patch of surviving forest. I found some of my old landmarks leading down through a dark tunnel in the trees, a small roe deer was startled by my presence, no one had passed this way for a long time. The trail was obstructed by many fallen trees and branches yet too soon I reached a dense tangle of felled trees and branches and open sky. I clambered over and through the tangle of dead wood and slithered down a 10 meter embankment to reach the new, industrial scale, forest road. Such contrast. I continued the descent and spent the rest of my time examining a new rock exposure created by the blasting for the new roads. Good exposure of well folded ?gneisose semi-pelite with pegmatite veins cutting through it. Beautiful rock with lovely banding. I must return despite the carnage at this site; there is still much beauty here a point accentuated by a male hen harrier flying past and the ravens calling above me.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Sunday Morning

It is a reasonable day outside today - should really go for a walk or a run on my motorcycle.  But - it is the last day of a weeks holiday and the anxiety levels are rising as I anticipate all the problems I will face tomorrow.  The stress and strain of my job takes it's toll.  At the end of 2007 and early 2008 I was off for 5 months suffering from burnout and high blood pressure.  The tablets keep the blood pressure in check but dealing with the anxiety and panic attacks was harder.  A work in progress you could say.  One result has been developing and intensifying my diary entries, hence starting a blog as a way of working through my anxieties and hopefully find a way to a place of grace and ease in this world.  Perhaps you too have walked this path and have created a better life for yourself.  I have decided to stop fighting the injustices of the world and focus on getting me better first.  Conserving energy and time towards healing.  I also intend to write and use Haiku's to converse with myself and with anyone who may be interested in this journey.  

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Hi hope you are all well, I've just arrived tonight and I hope to share some thoughts with the rest of the world out there. 
I live in the Highlands of Scotland and took the photograph heading my blog while out walking yesterday.  There is a Ravens nest, fantastic birds, on this particular chunk of gneiss.  
In the meantime take care and think good thoughts.